How do you learn a child’s love language?

Observe how they express love to others. If they always want to help you do things, then ‘acts of service’ is probably their love language. If they say, “you’re such a good mommy,” then words of affirmation is likely their language. They are loving you in the language they wish to receive.

Another clue is what do your children complain about? If Johnny says, “We don’t ever take walks in the park since the baby came.” He’s telling you that ‘quality time’ is his love language. If your daughter says, “you didn’t bring me anything?” she’s revealing that her love language is receiving gifts. Learn to speak your child love language and watch their countenance change.

By Gary Chapman, The 5 love Languages of Children

Parent/child relationships can often be difficult to navigate through. If you are experiencing difficult in your relationship with your children Aimee Rhoden provides family counseling at The Winchester Institute.
Call Aimee at 614. 760.5555 or email her at arhoden@thewinchesterinstitute.com

Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

By Gary Chapman

Aimee Rhoden, Professional Counselor at the Winchester Institute provides counseling to couples to help build and strengthen their marriage. If you would like to schedule an appointment with Aimee Rhoden call 614.760.5555.